Mele Kalikimaka and Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

Moon Over Honolulu

Taken May 2005, from the Hale Koa Hotel on Waikiki.

The Battle Rages On

So in November I had an annual physical and all the blood tests and consults to Mammogram, Dermatology, Allergy Clinic (something here is still making my eyes and nose run) and a new one - The Lean Healthy Lifestyle Clinic. Yes, being fat is an obvious act that cannot be hidden. In fact, I am teetering on MORBID Obesity according to the BMI guidelines that the hospital follows. More about that later.

So I have had my blood drawn, got my flu shots, had a mammogram (results came Sat, NO EVIDENCE OF CANCER), went to the dermatologist and had 26 skin tags frozen (and am currently awaiting them to disengage from my body) and he also informed me that the keratosis on my skin is from sun damage but not necessarily precancerous. Of course I will continue to use sunscreen.

Last Wednesday I met with Madalene for a physical fitness assessment and to lay out a plan of strength training and cardio. I start this morning. First up, Zumba®, a Latin inspired dance aerobic class, which is sure to kill me (so much for diabetes, hypertension, cancer and stoke)! Seriously, I attended a class up in Schofield back in July and could barely move for 3 days! Now after class, I have an hour of strength training with M. I hesitate to call it weight training, only because I doubt there will be much weight (except my own) involved. So wish me luck! If I can update this afternoon, you will know I am alive!

So back to the Lean Healthy Lifestyle program - my first appointment is Jan 5 and it is 6 hours long. I don't have a lot of information about it, other than I know that it's the same program that they send gastric bypass patients to before they have surgery. NO, I AM NOT HAVING GASTRIC BYPASS! Just want to be clear, I have considered it, and I am sure that I could gain 11 more pounds to qualify for it. But although it SEEMS like a quick and EASY solution, it is not. And it does not address the real issue of all this weight. That is what I need to work on so I can lose it safely and not have it come back. I have been a sad sack for a while and I am quickly understanding my need to no longer wish for this but to actually do something, anything!

When I quit smoking 10 1/2 years ago, it seemed like I quit cold turkey. I just stopped, but the truth is, I tried for 12 years to quit before I finally did. I quit during pregnancy but the minute (okay 6 weeks) I gave birth I started right back up. I used gum, hypnotism, drugs, counseling - with no success. Although the experts say every time you quit, you get closer to quitting for good. So maybe all those attempts were really just part of the success. Regardless, quitting an addiction is difficult and it requires a ton of work and daily vigilance. I still have the occasional day when I think, "Wouldn't it be nice to just have a cigarette with this cup of coffee?" Insanity never goes away!

I have come to a realization that I am addicted to food, it's not my excuse - it's just my awareness that I will battle this the rest of my life and if I am lucky, it will get easier like the smoking. There is so much about this issue that every day I find myself learning more and more about food in my life. Funny, I am Irish and true to the stereotype, I come from a long line of alcoholics (both recovering and still practicing). I grew up in AA and Alateen and Alanon. I have spent my whole life hyper aware of my non drinking and my drinking when I began, how much and why. I have been "waiting" to become an alcoholic myself. Instead, I used food.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and know that I am working hard at this.

A Call for Help at Fort Hood, TX

To all my quilter friends out there - if you would like to do something to help those wounded in the tragedy at Fort Hood, TX - CherryHouse Quilts has received information from the Chaplins Office on Fort Hood for donations of quilts. Go to her site and she will guide you on how you can help! Most of you are military wives and mothers like me and I know if you can you will! I love you sisters!

Sailing....

DSCN2812, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

Sarah and Audrey

DSC_5414, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

charity:water

Aloha!

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you why I support charity:water. I heard about them a year ago when my friend Sarah had asked that in lieu of gifts for her daughter, Audrey's, 2nd birthday, to please donate to this organization. I went to their website, read about their organization and donated on behalf of Audrey. I then followed them on twitter and facebook and discovered an amazing story of some incredible people, who are doing wonderful things to raise money to provide safe access to clean drinking water.

I have done a few things to promote their cause including donating money, re-tweeting their tweets on twitter and re-posting their status updates on facebook. I have also told everyone I know about them. Well that didn't seem like a lot and it really isn't hard to copy and paste. charity:water has made me rethink how I use water in my life. They also helped me to realize that I can do so much more in my life to help others, however seemingly small. So I decided I wanted to do more.

In July began a small campaign at my new house in Hawaii to collect old bottles, cans and other recyclables with deposits that are left around my community and turning it in for cash, in turn pledging that amount to charity:water. I've stopped buying bottled water and now donate the amount I would have spent on it to charity:water. Every day when I wash dishes, clean my clothes, take a shower, brush my teeth, and do anything else involving the use of water - makes me think about how fortunate I am to have safe clean water available to me any time I want it. I have taken it for granted my whole life, just like most Americans. Every bit counts!

I am so grateful and appreciative to be able to live on this beautiful island, in the middle of the Pacific, with all the amenities of any place in the mainland of the US. I am committed to reducing the waste in my life and when I see waste elsewhere I am going to do what I can to make a difference. And the best part is that I can turn that into cash for my charity, charity:water.

Please visit charity:water on their website to learn how you can make a difference. You can follow them on facebook here and on twitter here.

By the way, Audrey will be turning 3 on September 5th and I am will be making a donation on her behalf again - will you join me? Audrey's Birthday Page.

Mahalo!

Has it Really Been Three Months?

Seriously? Oh my, how time flies when one has to move across the country with a kid, grandkid, two dogs, two trucks and God only knows the EXACT weight of our household goods. It's been quite a summer since my last post moving from hot and humid Kentucky to not quite as hot and not quite as humid Hawaii.

I actually ran another 5K shortly after we arrived; the 4th of July Run/Walk on Schofield Barracks, Hawaii. It was hot and the hill was gradual but long. It took me a little longer to finish than the one in May - 49:07. A couple of things affected me besides the heat one of which was that while I was pushing Brian in the stroller, I did not have Rachel with me. She was up ahead running with her dad. I really do think there is something to having a running partner.
We moved into our house at the beginning of July and we have a small gym just a block away. I was pretty consistant in going until the furniture arrived as well as my son, Jimmy on leave at the end of July. I am still mired in the chaos of an unorganized house and still have a bit of unpacking to do.

My eating hasn't been terrible but I know I could do a lot better than I have been. I seem to give into my emotions a lot easier than before, not sure if it's the early stages of menpopause or if I have finally been officially overwhelmed by the circumstances in my life. I have been eating healthier and reduced the snacking; and there was a week where I was weighing in at 228.5 but now I am back to 230lbs. I have my days when I feel resigned to being a large woman and it can depress the shit out of me. I know the things I need to do for myself but find that I give it up too easily for everything else I need to do within my family.

It's almost like I am afraid to change. Which is so ridiculous given that I haven't always been a fat woman and there didn't seem to be a lot of fear in changing from a thin one to my current form. I actually hate that I am fat - I mean I REALLY hate it. I know, I want to focus on being able to run but I find that difficult because it fricking hurts like hell sometimes to do so. So I am always confronted by my weight - no matter how much I try to not be.

A couple of things have happened since May that have really struck a nerve for me. One was reconnecting with an Army friend I hadn't seen since shortly after the birth of my son. She found me on facebook and a few weeks later flew to KY to see me as we were packing out - talk abotu timing...anyhow, she looked exactly the same! I mean she looked EXACTLY the same!!! Blew me away!!! I thought, how come the 21 years hadn't changed her physically the way it has seemingly PUNISHED the crap outta me?!! Of course she looked a little older, but in a GREAT way. It was so wonderful to see her and hug her and realize how much I had missed her.

After she left, I felt such a tremendous sense of failure. How did I let this happen to me?? Where is the person she used to know? I know she was just as happy to see me and I know that even though she noticed how much I had physically changed that she still loves me and has missed me the same. But it's like getting a kick in the gut (is that why they call it a gut check?) and it hurt.

The second thing to occur was my realization that as I have been reconnecting with other people from my past they still look the same! I mean, yes everyone has aged, but they are no worse for wear. They are still of normal weight and they all look great. It has made me start to think about why I have put on all this weight. I am not talking about 20, 30 or even 40 pounds. I am talking over 100lbs at my heaviest (242 in January). That is a hell of a lot of weight! It is the amount of weight that a lot of folks have gained who get gastric bypass. It's the equivelant of another person!

One other thing that happened last night. I spent the evening dancing with our neighbors and my daughter and grandson. Now when I say dance, I am talking DANCE! We shook our booties to the ground! And while I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as I was watching others boogie (showing my age) down I realized once again how ABNORMAL it is for me to be fat. It's not that they are skinny, it's that they are NORMAL weight! Which means they can move easier than I can and they can do th moves that I only do in my head.

So I think I need to revise my strategy. I need to work on my eating habits AND work on my lifestyle habits. I need to find that confidence that I once had. I need to know in my head and my heart that I can do this. I also need to get a trainer! Someone who I can give permission to crack the proverbial whip! I can't do this by myself anymore.

I Could Look at Them All Day

Just a Little Walk This Evening...

Show Honu Aloha

Aloha means hello in hawaiian, but it is has another broader meaning of extending goodwill to the person you are saying it to. Honu is the hawaiian name for turtle and this is a little story of how I learned about showing aloha to the honu.

A few weeks ago, we ventured towards the North Shore and we wanted to go to a different beach than the one at Haleiwa, so we drove just a little north and saw some folks parked on the right side of the road. We stopped to see why and initially couldn’t figure out where they were going. We crossed the street, which looked like a drop off and low and behold was a little rocky beach called Laniakea.
Laniakea Beach

We made our way down to the beach and discovered this “little” guy, a beautiful green sea turtle. He was just laying in the warm sand soaking up the last of the afternoon sun. Someone had roped off an area around him with a red rope and put a laminated sign up asking us all to keep away.

Genbu

So I took a few shots of him and noticed a whiteboard in the sand which said his name was Genbu. This intrigued me because I began to realize that the someone who cared enough to put the rope up also seemed to know a lot about this turtle. I walked around the beach looking to see if there were other turtle basking, which there weren’t, but there were several bobbing up out of the water feeding. What very cool place.

Genbu on Laniakea Beach

I started to leave and a woman with a beautiful green turtle necklace on came over to me and asked if I needed any help or if I had any questions about Genbu (I must have “that” look, because this actually happens to me a lot). We started talking and she told me how she volunteers as a Honu Guardian, volunteering once or twice a month for 3-4 hours at a time. The green sea turtles are a “threatened species” and are protected by the Endangered Species Act. Laniakea is one of the few beaches that the green sea turtles come to feed and bask and they migrate here regularly from their birthing grounds on the French Frigate Shoals about 500 miles north of Oahu.

She is sort of an ambassador for the turtles and volunteers with Malama na Honu, which means “care for the turtles”. They train their volunteers on what to look for when observing and how to collect data about the turtles’ basking and feeding habits. The Honu Guardians are also on hand to help educate humans about the turtles’ migration patterns, explaining why they choose this beach to come feed and why the turtles bask on the beaches.

You can read more about them on their website malamanahonu.org and there is a cool section about each of the turtles that have been identified as regulars. This is the section about my turtle Genbu. He really is so special!

Name: GENBU
Hawaiian name: KUPONO- the worthy
one
MATURING, MALE

Markings: PIT tags # 4250034951 and # 442E084F24

Genbu, who weighs 157 pounds and is approximately 30 years old, disappeared from the shores of Laniakea in 2004. A year later he hauled out onto the beach with a large fibropapailloma tumor on his left jaw hinge and tumors on his neck and eyes. He was successfully treated by the veterinarian with Dermex in 2005 and again in 2007. Today L-11 basks in the sun at Laniakea approximately 8 days a month. L-11 has a distinguishably flat scute on top of his shell and small “wartlike” bumps on both eyelids. A satellite tag and TDR were attached to Genbu's shell March 2009 and the transmitter removed in June, as he did not migrate in 2009.

When I first read this, I decided I like his hawaiian name better, Kupono, the worthy one. Once we get settled into our house and routine, I plan to volunteer with Malama na Honu and spend a few hours a month hanging out at Laniakea with Brian, hoping to see my “little” guy again.

Kupono

Grandpa and Brian

We spent Father's Day at the North Shore on a little beach called Hale'iwa. Brian loves running along the beach and occasionally dipping his toes in the water. He is getting used to the way the water comes in and out from the shore. We watched turtles bobbing up and down in the water, skipping stones and a glorious sunset.

Happy Father's Day

Aloha!

I just wanted to update you about our moving situation. We landed safely in Honolulu on Thursday and we are currently in a hotel for an indeterminate amount of time, until we are able to secure permanent housing. The pups are at a beautiful kennel and we can go visit them any time we want. We have already started looking at some possible places for housing and I will keep you up to date as it reveals to us.

No worries, we have so many places to go visit and hang out, it feels more like an extended vacation. It's been a while since I have posted regularly and I hope to be able to do so soon. I have shot so many images since I have arrived, Hawaii is like being in a candy store for me. Beautiful landscapes and flowers and the beach and turtles and of course Brian! The trick will be carving the time for uploading as I have had to remind myself to charge the batteries at night.

I feel so fortunate to be able to live here, be able to shoot this gorgeous place, and share it with all of you. I hope you will follow my journey here on the Hawaiian islands.

Mahalo!

Dateline: Hawaii, May 2005

Aloha,

In May of 2005, my family and I flew out of Anchorage for two glorious weeks on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. We stayed at the Hale Koa, right on Waikiki Beach. It was the most fabulous two weeks of our lives. We swam, sunbathed, walked endless miles on the beaches, climbed Diamond Head and watched surfers on the waves. We ate shaved ice and pineapple every day.

We drove up to the North Shore and took in the breathtaking vistas. We climbed on the rocks and visited Hanauma Bay. We saw a beautiful black Labrador that reminded us of our recently departed sweet Sara dog and we watched our son skateboard at an outdoor park in Kailua, We walked the streets and took in the nightlife of Kalakaua Avenue and ate at Duke's right on Waikiki Beach. We drove through the Dole Pineapple Plantation fields and body boarded at Bellows Beach.

My husband and I spent an entire afternoon watching and photographing outrigger canoe women teams practice at Ala Moana State Recreation Area. We came across street musicians and watched the sailboats come in and out of the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor with Diamond Head perfectly poised in the background.
Our first night there, I photographed the night skyline of Waikiki and we watched fireworks both Fridays we were there. I photographed the sunsets, the sunrises and everything I could in between. We visited Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona Memorial. It was a very somber visit and I was so grateful to be able to go and pay my respects for those who gave their lives that day. We went to a lua and we smelled beautiful plumera and it really was almost too much to take in.

One night shortly after we arrived, we were having dinner and talking about all that we had seen in the first few days and how beautiful and wonderful it was, except of course the traffic during rush hour. We were only caught twice in it. We thought how amazing it would be to be able to come back here and live and we all sort of shook our heads at the improbability. After all, my husband had been in the military for 22 years and we knew we probably had one more move before we retired. And since we were already in Alaska, the odds were that we would be moving back to the lower 48 states. So we decided we would come back every so often as this was our most favorite vacation ever.

Three years later, the orders came and we were off to Kentucky, to spend 18 months before we were to retire. We packed our house and off we drove; up through Alaska, through the Yukon Territory and down in British Columbia, back into the United States and across to Kentucky; 3,942 miles!

Then as we planned our first trip to the Carolinas to scope out possible retirement spots and jobs; we got a very exciting call that changed our lives; my husband was promoted and we had to leave Kentucky - no job for him here any more. A month later, while he was in Washington, D.C., he called me and asked me what I thought about Hawaii. I said I LOVE Hawaii, why are you taking me there for Christmas? No, they want me to take a position there! I screamed and thought NO WAY, too good to be true. This just doesn't happen to the McDonells! And for the last 8 months, I have held my breath waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me it was a joke.

It's not, our house is packed up and on Monday, June 8th, exactly one year to the day we signed for the keys to this house, all of our belongings will be crated and shipped off for their long distance voyage to the Hawaiian islands. Three days after, on June 11th (my 45th birthday), we will once again get in our trucks, load some suitcases and our beautiful baby grandson and our gorgeous daughter and our two happy-go-lucky black Labs, Minnie and Daisy; and we will all begin the trek across the southwest United States to Los Angeles, Ca. We will ship our trucks at the port on June 17th and early the next morning we will all board a flight to Oahu. We are scheduled to land at 11am local time so we figure we should be at the beach for our first sunset on, ironically enough, Sunset Beach on the North Shore.

I cannot begin to tell you how excited we all are to be able to have this opportunity to live in Hawaii, visit it's beautiful islands and experience the Hawaiian culture like no visitor can in two weeks. I promise to blog about our adventures and share with you all the wonderful things we see and experience in Hawaii and until then, I leave you with some of my favorite memories of our visit 4 years ago!

Mahalo.

Run Minnie, Run!

DSC_6872, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

Boy does this picture bring back memories. Shot August 26, 2007 in Alaska at Otter Lake on Fort Richardson, AK. I can't believe it's been almost 2 years!

Just Did It

Today was gorgeous! I was on my way to the gym out of habit, and I was passing the track and decided why not? I pulled in and parked and thought, I will do what I can. This track is 1/2 mile so I thought, just do 6 laps - don't think about how far you will run and how far you will walk. Just do it. So I did. I took my iPhone (I carry my phone when outside just in case something happens) which has my music loaded. I had my ID card and my truck key in a small pocket in my shorts, drank some water and away I went. What a gorgeous day - 68 degrees, clear skies, and a gentle breeze blowing, so not the typical day of the last few months here. I felt good and was only slightly worried about my allergies because it's a huge problem in Kentucky.

There was a woman pushing a baby stroller, a couple of men walking on their lunch break, and another couple walking but I felt like I had the place to myself. I walked for a few minutes and then started to jog. Listening to my new Keith Urban cd and just cruising. I didn't run fast, just a nice jog and I thought I will jog as far as I can, check my heart rate and walk until I feel like jogging again. And that's exactly what I did. I was fascinated by watching the birds fly in and out of the fields and for the most part kept a good form with my shoulders relaxed and my butt tucked under my hips and looking forward and not down.

Well, mostly, I notice that when I go from a walk to jogging, I start out with my shoulders shrugged up and I tend to lean forward, like I am going to sprint. But within a few seconds, I realize what is happening and I focus on getting the different parts aligned. I feel so much better when I have good form and I credit it for helping me stay injury free. I have a relatively high tolerance for all types of pain, but when it has come to running before, I used to call the soreness I was feeling pain so I would have an excuse not to do it anymore. I am very aware of the fact that running is creating a great deal of stress on my body, I weigh 230 lbs and that's a lot of force to be putting on these hips, knees and ankles. So I run slowly and I work on my form and I run for as long as I think I can, then I run a little more. Sure, I feel sore when I am running sometimes, but nothing long lasting and I am learning the difference between soreness and real pain.

Now, I am out there running and I start to think about how self-conscious I was just a few months ago and how it kept me from even trying to run. I used to wear long pants and baggy shirts, sometimes with a jacket wrapped around my waist and I would only walk. I would put my headphones and sunglasses on and pretend I was invisible, quite a trick for a large woman. But I would not run, I wouldn't even try! Same in the gym, I just couldn't get over the fact that everyone was staring at me and imagining what they could be thinking. Boy it was nice to run in shorts and not care what anyone thought, including the two guys I passed on the course. Sure, they were walking, but I wondered if they felt just a bit guilty seeing the fat girl run and they weren't. Yes, I have those thoughts! I am competitive.

A few weeks ago, my daughter purchased a sports bra for me. She had been watching my frustration trying on all these "sports bras" only to discover none fit! So she researched online and found a place and ordered it. Coincidentally, the first day I wore it was May 6, the same day I ran 2 miles without stopping. I call it my miracle bra. If you have never experienced the wondrous feeling of having your breasts bouncing so hard it takes the wind out of you, you cannot appreciate the beauty of a perfect fitting bra! It's a Glamorise Sport Max Bra. I had been contemplating using ace bandages to bind them puppies up! It is painful, I sometimes would look for bruising! On the same topic, I started thinking about how I am so glad I bought these compression shorts by Under Armour because they really help with the jiggling of my stomach. It's amazing how I can wrap it all up and feel like a different person, is that why our mothers and grandmothers wore girdles? I am kidding of course, but as for running, the answer is in keeping things compact, or at least immobile.

So I finished my 6 laps (3 miles) and it took me 41:24, same time as I did on the treadmill on Saturday, so that's progress! I expect to be slower outside because the treadmill gives you forward momentum and has a softer surface than asphalt. Another thing I noticed was that my heart rate never got past 168bpm and my one minute recovery heart rate is getting better as well. And in spite of my dry throat from allergies, my breathing was pretty even. I felt better running and I actually enjoyed it. I drank a whole bottle of water and headed home.

I am so glad I did it.

Saying Goodbye

DSCN1495, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

I came across this shot and thought I want to share it with you. It was taken on August 13, 2008. It was the night my husband took Jimmy to the hotel in Louisville. He joined a dozen other young people who were all new recruits into the various branches of the military. Some Navy, a few Air Force and my son had joined the Army. He was flying out early the next morning for basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, MO. I love this picture because we had all been crying and yet here we were, smiling our infamous smiles. I also like this picture because I think it shows how much my husband, Brad and I are beginning to look alike. Maybe because Jimmy's in between us and I can see both of us in him.

One Saturday in May

On Saturday, May 9, 2009 I, along with my daughter and grandson, completed the 5K Walk/Run race for the American Red Cross. I know it’s been almost a week since then, but I have had a few computer issues (long story) but I am posting now. Now I first need to thank Lori Price for all the wonderful photographs she took of my family and I at the start and at the end of the race. She is a long time friend whose twins were running the same race.
In the pictures you will notice that we are smiling in all of them. Now we are not faking them, as my daughter, Rachel and I were indeed smiling the entire race. We were laughing and joking and encouraging each other all the way. We got up early that morning to make sure we ate a healthy breakfast and had some time for digestion and for drinking plenty of water before going down to the Red Cross station here on Fort Knox.We signed in and put our numbers on and I felt all sorts of butterflies in my stomach. I kept reminding myself that I was racing myself with the following objectives; to finish the race, to run as much as I could of it, and to not let anyone I passed pass me. But I guess because it was a race, the competitive nature in me started sizing up my “competition” and I use this term LOOSELY. The only thing I had on them was indeed my size. There were people of all ages, sizes and abilities and it was incredible to see how many kids were participating. Brian of course was riding this race, but I envision him running with me one day. So I tried to focus on being calm and relaxed. Rachel and I met up with Lori and her family and we caught up for a few having not seen each other in over 6 years. She even brought pictures of my son with her twins when the twins were 7 and my son was 13. It was nice to see her family grown and I think she loved seeing Rachel and meeting Brian.


Me, Rachel and Brian waiting for the start of the race.

Well, the race began and the runners started first and then all of us followed. Rachel and I used the first quarter mile to snake our way through the pack, all the way pushing the stroller with Brian in it. Then we started to jog. It was humid and hot and only 8:30 in the morning! My legs initially felt like two heavy logs but soon I started to get into a groove. Rachel and I jogged then power-walked for about the first mile and we made short-term goals, such as we’ll run until the turn, we’ll start running when we crest this hill, we’ll start walking once we pass the lady in the red shirt, etc. We laughed the entire course!


Shortly after the start, snaking our way through the pack.


The home stretch - thank goodness for the stroller for holding me up!


Yes, we laughed the whole way!!!

The course was hilly but all on asphalt. I have only run on that surface a handful of times. The weather during spring in Kentucky is very wet so I do a lot of my running on a treadmill at the gym. So I was feeling pretty good about being able to run this race. As we turned the corner to the finish line, there were soldiers who had run the race in formation lined up on either side of the finish line and they were cheering everyone on! We began the race at 1min 7secs and completed it at 43:07, with a time of 42 minutes flat! What a great way to finish!

Our finish line reception - those soldiers were cheering really loud! I felt like a million!

After the race with Josh and Micheal. Brian was wondering when he was getting outta there!

I have to say, I am proud of myself for doing it and I am glad that I am running again. Even though I still have a long way to go to reach my goals, I feel so motivated with accomplishment. I am really beginning to see the fruits of my labor and while the weight is coming off slowly, I am getting stronger every day.