HOLY BATSHIT!

We have a foot and half of snow out here and the pod comes MONDAY!!! Oh my GAWD!!!! It feels like January and looks like February around here. My house is a disaster with all the packing materials, odds and ends strewn from one end to the other, and trying to finish June's quilt. What were we thinking? The closer it gets to leaving the more I want to stay. I do not know how I am going to live without Brian - sure I can see myself living in Kentucky and the warm weather and the grass and flowers and all that - but it's going to be so sad without that little boy. I cannot begin to describe how much I love him.
But right now, I am consumed with this monstrosity - a house torn apart from the inside out and all the little pieces of my life colliding into the biggest mess I have ever seen. Again, I ask - why does one save all the little crap that one does? I have so many useless little items and half of them I do not know where they came from!
The other day, my hubby and I were packing out the basement and he brought 3 boxes to me. They were figurines of dolphins and whales that I had purchased in North Carolina before we moved here six years ago. Not only had I not unpacked them, I forgot I even had them. Now my first thought was, what a treat - I will have some new things to open when I get to KY. Then the reality of it all hit me - how sick am I that I should buy something, pack it, ship it, and not open it for over six years??!!! Really sick.
I have also had this image of my house in KY with the guest room filled top to bottom, wall to wall with boxes just waiting for the move back here in a year. Now this may seem crazy, but I submit - how crazy is it to unpack all this shit and repack it 13 months later???!!! Now you must be thinking, why are they moving if they're coming back? Well, that is a long and complicated answer to which I can really only say - even though I am not 100% sure - as long as my daughter and grandson are here - I am very sure we'll be coming back. As for the year part - that's how long hubby has until he must retire from the military.
I am just a rolling rock trying to keep up with it all. And all I can say is thank God for technology and cameras and camcorders and web cams and phones and mobile to mobile calling and anything else that will help me through this next 13 months. I have the move going, I have the itinerary planned, I even have decided that this next year will be about saving money, paying off bills and quilting this huge pile of fabric that took me forever to pack. But what I do not know is how I will live day to day without this little boy Brian who makes each moment in my life so joyful. I do know my heart will be broken, but I do not know how bad or how painful it will be. That's how I know we will be back here.

Brian's First Snow Angel

DSCN0390, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

Brian made his first snow angel this evening. He wasn't crazy about the whole cold wet stuff in his face. He did a nice job though. Can you believe we've had over a foot of snow since 9am this morning??? It's April 25th for goodness sake!

A Surprise Gift

This came in the mail yesterday for Brian. It was made by a woman who lives in Fallon, NV. Her name is Kathleen Gross and she is the mother of a young man, Justin that Brad and I befriended during some trying times for him. Anyhow, I would have never in a million years expected this. What a beautiful gesture.

Tropic Breezes

This quilt has had many hands on it. It started with a gorgeous 4 yard piece of the Aqua batik with yellow and green palms that I never intended to cut up. My daughter was in my stash, a dangerous situation, and decided that she wanted to make me a quilt using it. At first, I was adamant about saying no but she persevered and I relented. Then she grabbed the purple batik wth the flower in the middle which was another fabric I bought just because. She made it in early spring of 2006.



Well, she made this beautiful top.




It was then quilted by my friend Sheila Crum who made a beautiful palm motif from one of my Hawaii pitures. She finished it in April 2006.

Well, my daughter sewed the binding on it and then it sat on my chair for 2 years awaiting the handsewing to finish it. Well, senior year of high school, pregnancy and now baby kept her from finishing it.
I, on the other hand was scared to do it because my hand sewing skills are crappy at best. Ahhh...enter my wonderful friend and quilting guru Sarah to the rescue. She came over this past Monday to help me with June's quilt but with all the babysitting and packing, I did not get the blocks ready - so she sat down, asked for a sewing needle and the thread for the quilt and began the binding. I felt so bad yet very grateful. I worked on June's blocks while she sat on my sofa and worked on the binding. Brad made us a lunch and we put on Juno (my favorite movie) and she sewed until she had to go to teach her class. She finished 2 sides and 3 mitered corners.
Well I couldn't let it sit there - I looked at how she did it and she graciously pinned the last corner for me and I finished it today.
This quilt is such a special gift to me and I feel so blessed to have three very talented women work on it for me.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

My neighboring Starbucks on Elmendorf, AFB

The barista makes my coffee.

Their pledge of service - Your drink should be perfect, every time. If not, let us know and we'll make it right.

My usual is a Grande Breve, no foam, one sugar. They get it right almost every time. The down side, I only go there when I go to the PX, which is only about once a month. So I usually go to the one of Fort Richardson which is only a few blocks from my house. Same order, totally not right almost every time.
When my husband gets it for me, he doesn't realize that its wrong until he gets home and hands to to me. By then, I just deal with it because no one is going back there to get it right. Last time I stopped in there was last Thursday after the Post Office and I ordered my usual and the first thing she did was to put Splenda in my cup. I reminded her that I had asked for sugar and her comment back to me was that I didn't state SUGAR IN THE RAW! Since when is SPLENDA sugar?????
After she finished making it, she capped it and pushed it towards me. I picked it up and realized immediately that there was foam so I took the cap off and asked her to remove the foam - if looks could kill....
My point is obvious, don't post a sign promising something you are not willing to keep.

In Celebration of Earth Day

Adirondack Chair

I made this chair completely out of recycled materials. The seat is constructed with 19 hockey sticks that I collected on the rinks after various games. The back is made with 7 of my broken goalie sticks. The rest is reclaimed wood from a variety of things I took from other people's garbage.

Sh1t the Gorgeous Green Monster

Sh1t the Gorgeous Green Monster, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

This is Sh1t, the gorgeous green monster, who travelled all the way from Scotland to be with me. I bought him from Fi at Moose and Bear Crafts to accompany my Dammit doll. I got her a long time ago from a friend who must have thought I would need her at different moments in my life.

One of the main attractions I have towards Sh1t, the gorgeous green monster, besides his lovely smile and wonderful green color, is his name. It happens to be my dad's favorite word. He didn't like cussing, in fact he would get mad ifsomeone started using profanity but he loved the word Sh1t and I think partly because it pissed off my aunt.
When he passd away, the minister came to his house to discuss the memorial with my brother and I. My daughter was sitting with us and the minister asked her what she would remember most about her grandfather. What was the most important thing he taught her, and she thought for a moment and said - "Sh1t, he taught me how to say his favorite word, sh1t." The minister smiled with a lot of understanding - she knew my dad well.
I love my new monster Sh1t and I think my dad would have too.

It's Crunch Time

and I can't sleep. Sixteen days before we clear out of the house. Sixteen days before they come and pick up our POD. Sixteen days before we ship our Explorer out. Sixteen days. Where did the time go? It went by so fast and I am sitting here in a pile of boxes, wrapping paper and bubble wrap wondering if I used the time wisely.

I know quitting my job was the right thing to do. Taking care of Brian and watching him change right before my eyes was the right thing to do. Finishing the quilts that had been lying around for a few years was the right thing to do. Hanging out with my dogs was definitely the right thing to do. I have packed a lot of stuff during all of this (I still have so much to pack) and I have given away a ton of things to people who will get use out of them. This was the right thing to do.

What I want to do is stop packing and stay right here. I am scared to leave my daughter here. I am scared of how I will feel the first day I know I won't be seeing my grand baby, Brian. I am scared of how broken my heart really will be. I love him so much and everyday time I am with him, I feel so fortunate to be in his life. I am scared he won't remember me in a month or two. I am scared that he will not know how much I miss and love him.

I bought web cams for my daughter and me so we could talk on the Internet and I could see my beautiful grandson Brian. I know it will help, but I am scared nonetheless. I bought her a video camera and gave her my digital camera, but I am still afraid of losing the closeness I have with her and Brian. I want to be brave, I am trying to be brave, but I am still so scared.

While I have tried to move forward with this life event and in the course it has made me nostalgic for the past. For one thing, I have thought of my dad more in the last few months than I have since he died. I'm not saying that I haven't thought of him and missed him every day he's been gone, but I have remembered things he said, times we shared and I miss him so much more. I think this is happening because I don't want to miss another person, because I miss him so terribly.

I remember studying stress and its physiological affects on us. Death, moving, becoming a young grandmother while watching your young daughter become a mom, empty nest, etc., are all considered major life events, which can take their toll on the human body. It's been a rough couple of years. I really need to get a grip on my life and get to accepting that for now, this is where my life is heading. To Kentucky. By the way, I am scared to move (first time in my life).

Twenty-One Days Until We Drive Out

My Brian Boo

Today has been a reality check for me. It hit me that we are leaving in three weeks and there's no turning back, no changing plans, it's onward to Kentucky.

I was watching Brian today and he was jumping in his Jungle Jumper and just banging and talkingand drooling. I just realized how lucky I have been to be with him this whole time. I am the happiest when I am with him.

I love his smiles and his laughs. When he rolls over and looks at with such awe I feel like I am in heaven. He's been sitting up more and his favorite thing to play with is his diaper wipes container. He loves the scrunchiness of the plastic.

I give him rasberries on his neck and he just curls up into my arms laughing. My favorite thing is when I am feeding him, he smiles at me and opens his little mouth for another but, just like a little bird.

liquid love you

liquid love you, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

Tagged...

...honored!! Fi at Moose and Bear Crafts tagged me today.

Here are the rules:
1. link to the person that tagged you.
2. post the {very important} rules on your blog.
3. list 6 very unimportant, random nothings about yourself {should be an easy one}

Here are my random things about me.
1. I love thunderstorms (and miss them here in AK).
2. I have recently begun to enjoy Judge Judy and Live with Regis and Kelly
3. One of my favorite albums of all time is Men at Work's Business as Usual.
4. I don't really like seafood, despite being raised on the Gulf of Mexico.
5. I really love to walk on the beach, not to tan, but to put my feet in the sand.
6. I have an addiction to glass vessels.

I hope I did it right Fi. So now I want to tag Design Sponge, Pamdora, Sarah Raffuse and MommyFooFoo - YOU ALL ARE IT!!

Snow in April

Snow in April, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

We went for a drive today and this is what we saw here in Alaska. Snow, snow, snow!!!!

Brian and applesauce

Brian and applesauce, originally uploaded by Nikongirl's Photoshop.

My grandson enjoying his applesauce and his mommy. I think he's the cutest baby ever!!!!

A Record I'm Sure!

My Moose and Bear - 4 years in the making. I put the binding on it today and my hubby loves it - so I gave it to him. I just love the fabrics in this quilt - unconventional paisleys with moose and bear.



Stained Glass Fence - These pictures do not do this quilt justice - it is so much more beautiful in person. This is my favorite quilt so far!
This one is Rachel's sofa quilt - she made the top this past summer and it's been sitting in my house since. She saw the way I quilted the Stained Glass Fence and she wanted to quilt hers similarly. She has been working overtime and I decided to quilt it and bind it for her today. Three's the charm! Finished, completed, done!!! Wooooooohoooooooooo

My fav of the moment

My fav of the moment
Originally uploaded by Frangines

Just wanted to share this with all of you!

porte-monnaie :)

porte-monnaie :)
Originally uploaded by Frangines

Just adorable!!!!

portefeuille

portefeuille
Originally uploaded by Frangines

I just love her work. She makes the cutest little purses.

sheltered

sheltered, originally uploaded by isa13.

Ask you shall receive. I love her macros and I commented that I would like to see more and voila! Tres bien!

He's leaving...

...on a jet plane, don't know when he'll be back again. Actually, he won't be back to Alaska anytime soon. He doesn't like it here. He's had a hard time here, some of which he created because of the choices he made. I miss him already. I know he needs to do this for many reasons and I worry most about his lack of direction and motivation.
He took the 5 plus plan approach to high school, although I give him an A for persistance and tenacity. He finished December 21, 2007 and given that the dropout rate here is pretty high, more credit to him for not dropping out; even though he drove my hubby and I nuts in the process.
So he's on his way to his life and it's scary and exciting and sad all at the same time. We got up at 3 this morning to get him going and to double check his bags and make sure he had everything he needed. Money, tickets, cell phone, ipod, laptop, camera, xbox, sketch pad and pencils. That was his carry-on bag. Two duffel bags filled with clothes and shoes and he and his dad were on their way to the airport.
He leaves Anchorage at 6am for Seattle so he needed to be there at 430am. He connects in Seattle to goes to Atlanta and then to Little Rock. He is due to arrive there at 10pm (7pm here) for a 13 hour day of travelling and four time zones. Not sure he remembers what jet lag feels like. I just hope he can navigate the different airports and find his connections easily. I know he's almost 20 but I still see that flighty 10 year old preoccupied with drawing.
Empty nest has its pros and cons - one child is leaving and in a month, I will leave my other child and grand child. What a deal huh?

Foundation Piecing

Foundation Piecing - I thought this was a great site and I wanted to share it with you.